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17 Ways to Stay Alive and Not Get Into Trouble (if You’re Stupid)
#26 is the best one, but so is #23
A wise man once told me, “Wise men are hard to find.” By that, I assume he meant they are good at hiding.
But anyway, if you transform that sentence using a thesaurus, it becomes, “Owlish hands are sticky to bump.” Translated into Latin, that becomes “Manus bubones glutinosae sunt,” which is an anagram of “Absolute genius bonus nun smut”.
What does any of that mean? I’ve no idea, but “What does any of that mean” is an anagram of “Ah, thawed fanny tomatoes.”
With that in mind (or not), I bring you:
17 Ways to Stay Alive and Not Get Into Trouble (if You’re Stupid)
There might be more than 17. In fact, there definitely is. Or at least there was last time I looked. I don’t know how it could have changed since then. It probably hasn’t, but if it has, I apologise. Even if you don’t accept my apology, there it is anyway. But if you do, it’s still there. If it isn’t, I don’t know where it went.
- Don’t continuously eat yoghurt all day until you vomit, then eat the vomit until you vomit again, throw the vomit at your neighbours, and then chop your foot off.