How to Do Anti-claps to Cancel Out the Noise Created by Claps

A complete, sensible, no-nonsense guide that even an imbecile can follow.

Smillew Rahcuef recently published an article where he asked people not to clap. You might have thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. He literally said “I’m not joking” in the subtitle. How much clearer could he have been?

Still, 25 people have clapped for it so far, giving it a total of 764 claps. The guy asked for no claps but received 764 of them. That’s an average of 30.56 claps per person.

This is an utterly ridiculous state of affairs

It worries me that many of Medium’s members cannot follow simple instructions. I suspect that half the time, they try to write their articles using a potato or sausage.

I dread to imagine what their daily lives are like. But I’m going to anyway.

At night, they probably try to go to bed on the roof. Some of them have likely turned their houses into railway stations, even though the nearest railway line is several miles away. At least one member uses a polar bear as a regular form of transport.

My clapping epiphany

So anyway, I said to Smillew that if Medium had an anti-clap feature, I would use that to remove the claps. That’s the type of nice guy I am.