I don't know if this counts, but my brother once vomitted on himself while driving on the motorway. He had to keep driving whilst covered in his own vomit. I wasn't with him, thankfully.

Many years ago, at primary school, one of my classmates sneeze and a massive load of snot flew out of his nose and onto his hand. He was then sat there will a stream of snot joining his hand to his nose. The teacher had to come along and clean it all up. This poor boy was shocked, but the rest of us found it hilarious.

I once got my penis stuck in a toaster.

That last one was a lie. The other two were true, though.