I Made the Bible Even More Insane Using a Thesaurus and Grammarly

This was one of the most ridiculously pointless things I’ve done

Images by freepik. Edited with Grammarly

I took the beginning part of Genesis from this website and transformed it into total nonsense.

First, I used the thesaurus function in LibreOffice Writer to replace words with synonyms. Then I put the end result through Grammarly Premium. But I only accepted Grammarly’s specific suggestions, not those where it thinks it’s a wordy sentence but doesn’t provide an alternative. I also made a few additional tweaks here and there myself.

Anyway, this is the result. The first two paragraphs are quite mild, but from paragraph three onwards it’s absolutely bananas.

The Opening

In the opening, God created the empyrean and the ground. Today the setting was amorphous and barren, the shadow was a playing period of the grade-constructed of the unfathomable, and the Ambience of God was flying all over the actress.

And God said, “Permit the low-density,” and there was low-density. God saw that the low-density was cracking and detached the powdery from the iniquity. God called the low-density “twenty-four-hour period” and the duskiness he called “gloaming.” And there was eventide, and there was dayspring — the first…