If it were possible for me to do anti-claps to remove all 315 of the claps you have received on this article so far, I would. That's the kind of nice guy I am.

I have been practicing my real life anti-claps. This involves forcing my hands apart at great speed. I'm hoping that if I learn to do it fast enough, it will create not just silence but anti-sound. This means that any clap sounds happening at the same time will be cancelled-out by my anti-clap. I recommend you practice this with your wife to see whether it works. One of you should clap while the other anti-claps. If my theory is true, there will be total silence.

It's quite possible I might be a genius.