It's been a process. Once I came to this realisation, I had to figure out how to proceed. The realisation was the biggest and most important step, but there are details to figure out along the way.

One thing I wasn't sure about was whether to tell my parents. I wasn't going to tell them, and I didn't tell them for months. Then a few weeks ago, I told my dad all about it. It just tumbled out of me during a conversation about other related stuff.

Then I wasn't sure whether to tell my mum. A couple of weeks later, I told her. I explained it all. She understood.

It was a great relief to tell them. Now they know, so now there is no more pretending as far as they are concerned. Now they know it's not just a case of two brothers not getting along. Now they understand it's more serious than that. They know that I regard him as my bully that I must minimise contact with.

I've made it clear that I will not interfere with their relationship with him. I've made it clear that I will not cause trouble or seek out trouble, but that if trouble finds me, I will not stand for it.

And that's why I need to avoid him as much as possible. Because if I need to stand up for myself, I will. Whatever happens when I'm standing up for myself is whatever needs to happen. But I won't be bullied. I refuse.

It's the way it has to be.