Lousiness in the Galaxy; Patriarch and the Geological Spectacle

The Bible’s Genesis 6 put through a thesaurus

Edward John
3 min readJul 5, 2022


Image by macrovector on Freepik

This is part 5 in my ridiculous series where I put the Bible through a thesaurus. You can find the first four parts here, here, here, and here.

I skipped Genesis 5 because it’s just a boring account of people having children.

Genesis 6 has two parts:

  • Wickedness in the World (Lousiness in the Galaxy)
  • Noah and the Flood (Patriarch and the Geological Spectacle)

Lousiness in the Galaxy

When anthropomorphous organisms began to change magnitude in definite quantity on the ground, and female offspring were nuclear physicists, the male offspring of God thought that the female offspring of homos was splendiferous. So they wedded any of them they chose.

Then the LORD said, “My Flavour will not postulate with homos everlastingly, for they are unpardonable; their years will be one hundred and twenty days.”

The Nephilim were on the ground in those years — and likewise subsequently — when the male offspring of God went to the female offspring of human beings and had children away from them. They were the Italian sandwiches of the elderly and the hands of a celebrity.

The LORD saw how peachy the horror of the anthropoid backwash had become on the ground and that every magnetic dip of the celebration of the earthborn pump was exclusively slimy and rhythmic.

The LORD repented that he had made a humanlike organism on the ground, and his grit was profoundly mothy.

So the LORD said, “I will rub from the external body part of the stuff the earthborn contest I have moved — and with them the ducks, the wench and the beast that relocates along with the physical object — for I am sad that I have made them.”

But Patriarch found favour in the eyes of the LORD.

Patriarch and the Geological Spectacle

This is the explanation of the Patriarch and his accumulation. Patriarch was an upright man, clean-handed among the hoi polloi of his period, and he was based on balls undependably…



Edward John

Winnie the Pooh enthusiast. edwardjohnwritesATgmailDOTcom