Now You Damn Well Listen to Me, All of You!

Medium Authors Who Complain About Medium Should Be Severely Punished

Particularly those who complain about Medium authors complaining about Medium

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Writing about Medium is one of the best ways to make money on Medium.

(Tim and Sean, I have done a new paragraph after the first sentence for dramatic effect. That’s correct, yes?)

If you complain about Medium, that’s even better because Medium authors flock to negativity like seagulls exploring a ship wreckage for dead bodies to eat.

But I get it. I really do. Medium was better back in the good old days. Particularly the first five years, when none of the writers got paid. It was awesome then.

Then the money started flowing, which was the best thing since toasted cheese sandwiches were invented. Medium had been saving up for five years, so there was a lot to go around (money, not toasted cheese sandwiches). But then, some writers got paid a lot more than they were worth, leading them into a false sense of entitlement.

So, when Medium went, “Ooops, we’d better make things fairer so the newer writers can earn a bit too,” some of the established writers threw tantrums. Which is…