BANANAS IN PAJAMAS
You are having a bath and then a donkey walks in…
Nothing like this has ever happened before…
You are having a bath all by yourself. Not that you normally have a bath with other people. I’m just saying, you are lying there all on your own. Wet. Hot. Steamy mirror. Thoughts of what you’ll eat for dinner.
You didn’t lock the door because why would you bother? You live alone, and if a criminal breaks in, you will pretend you’re insane. If that means growling the words to Bohemian Rhapsody while smearing Nutella on your nipples, so be it.
Splish splosh splash. Mmmmm, bath. Nice and warm.
You fart so loudly it seems to set off a nearby car alarm. Probably just a coincidence. It’s never happened before.
A neighbour swears loudly in pain. It’s probably Nathan from number three, having hit his thumb while doing DIY. There is more shouting and some crashing sounds. He’s probably stood in a pot of paint and fallen headfirst into the wooden panels leaning against the garage.
It’s alright. Somebody else will probably help him. If the worst happens and he dies or catches fire, it’s okay. He’s led a full, happy life, and any remaining family that are alive are either abroad or trapped in lunatic asylums.
